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ARE YOU A WONDERFUL FREAK? I AM...

Allan Anderson • May 20, 2020

3-Minute Read


LOVE OR FEAR

There is evidence that the root of your emotion springs from love or fear. If I’m honest, I believe that there are very few scenarios where a binary choice is helpful. The idea that you have to choose between black or white, this or that, and even either-or choices are actually few and far between. Yet, the more I observe my own thoughts and actions, the more the notion that all my emotion is tied to the wellspring of either “love or fear”.

I first learned of this idea more than a decade ago, but I recently read this article by Nancy Colier in Psychology Today magazine. She is a psychotherapist in NYC amongst other things and puts this concept this way,

Many believe that there are only two primal emotions in the human being, love and fear, and that we cannot feel both at once. And, that in the same way that light removes darkness, love can remove fear.

FEAR-LESS FREAK

Now you may be wondering, how in the world does the title even remotely correspond to “Love and Fear”?  That is a worthy question. And while I rarely share about some of the unique opportunities I experience or name drop people that I get the privilege of interacting with, I am going to break that rule in this instance.



I recently had the opportunity to speak with a true freak. In fact, we might say “King Freak”! In what was supposed to be a twenty-minute call with Dr. Dave Rendall turned out to be nearly an hour. In this discussion, I got to learn from a person who grew up being told to conform to the norm yet never quite “fit in” and not just because he quite literally outgrew all of his hand-me-downs before even receiving them!

Dr. Rendall, who stands at six foot six (or six foot nine in heels) as he put it in the first of at least three or four different TED talks, gave a TREMENDOUSLY helpful reframe in how to view yourself, the unique elements that comprise who you are, and even how you add value. The idea here is not to necessarily be fearless but rather learning to fear less and act more!


A LOVING FREAK

The top takeaway that I am hopeful you will walk away with is this. When we believe that every single human is equal in dignity, value, and worth, and is simply different in form and function we then can begin a process of living from a place of love.  Admittedly, viewing everyone with equity and equality can be tough but it is not impossible. 


As you begin to exercise this muscle, we must be keenly aware of two factors.


  1. OBSERVE YOUR MOTIVES AND BEGIN TO NOTE WHAT YOU DO OUT OF FEAR VERSUS LOVE.
  2. STOP REGRETTING OR FIXING YOUR UNIQUE QUIRKS, LEAN INTO THEM!


Let us embrace who we are and begin to influence the people within our sphere of relationship to do the same.

You can be the model for health, living out of love not acting out of fear. IF you don’t know where to begin, here are 3 different starting points for you.


  1. WATCH THE TEDX LISTED ABOVE, AND THEN THIS ONE AND FINALLY THIS ONE.
  2. ORDER FREAK FACTOR AND READ IT IF THAT IS YOUR STRENGTH.
  3. OR, REACH OUT TO US. IN FACT, JUST EMAIL ME DIRECTLY ALAN@SHANDELGROUP.COM, BECAUSE WE EXIST TO HELP YOU FIND YOUR PURPOSE!


Pulling for you,


Alan Andersen

Breaking the Cycle of Misery: A Leadership Journey

By Shandel Sutherland • November 24, 2024
Introduction Have you ever felt trapped in a cycle of stress, frustration, and burnout? As leaders, it's easy to get caught up in the day-to-day grind and lose sight of what truly matters. In this blog post, we'll explore the concept of the "cycle of misery" and how to break free from it. Understanding the Cycle of Misery The cycle of misery is a common trap that many leaders fall into. It's characterized by a negative mindset, a focus on problems, and a tendency to blame others. When we're in this cycle, we become our own worst enemies, constantly worrying and stressing over things that are outside of our control. Key Signs of the Cycle of Misery: Fear and Insecurity: Feeling overwhelmed and uncertain about the future. Anger and Frustration: Blaming others for problems and taking things personally. Lack of Confidence: Doubting your abilities and questioning your decisions. Isolation: Withdrawing from others and avoiding social interaction. Negativity: Focusing on the negative aspects of situations and people. Breaking Free from the Cycle To break free from the cycle of misery, we must focus on the following: Self-Awareness: Recognize the signs of the cycle and be honest with yourself about your current state. Mindfulness: Practice mindfulness techniques to stay present and reduce stress. Positive Self-Talk: Challenge negative thoughts and replace them with positive affirmations. Seek Support: Talk to a mentor, coach, or therapist to gain perspective and guidance. Prioritize Self-Care: Make time for activities that you enjoy and that help you relax. Focus on Solutions: Instead of dwelling on problems, focus on finding solutions. Connect with Others: Build strong relationships with colleagues, friends, and family. The Healthy Cycle of Growth In contrast to the cycle of misery, the healthy cycle of growth is characterized by positivity, resilience, and a focus on solutions. By cultivating a growth mindset and practicing self-care, we can break free from the cycle of misery and achieve our full potential. Conclusion Remember, it's okay to experience challenges and setbacks. The key is to recognize when we're slipping into the cycle of misery and take proactive steps to break free. By focusing on our values, practicing self-care, and connecting with others, we can create a more fulfilling and rewarding life.

Lead with Authenticity

By Jake Hinton • October 7, 2024
Embark on a transformative leadership journey where authenticity meets growth. This article delves into the pathways taken by a CEO to foster authentic leadership, emphasizing the shift from comfort zones to growth areas. Explore how resilience, accountability, and value alignment pave the way for effective leadership. By understanding oneself and embracing challenges, leaders can inspire their teams and nurture organizational success. Join us in uncovering the ripple effect of personal growth and its impact on building strong, authentic relationships.
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