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Stop Asking "Why" and Start Asking "What": Mastering Personal Accountability with the QBQ Method

Shandel Sutherland • August 5, 2024

Note: I love John Miller. I reference his book and work when I use the phrase QBQ. If you have any interest in his book or other work, check it out his website here!


In the hustle and bustle of professional life, personal accountability often serves as the cornerstone of success. Whether you're an entrepreneur navigating uncertain waters or a professional aiming to climb the corporate ladder, mastering the art of proactive questioning can be a game-changer.


The Power of Proactive Questions


Your Internal Dialogue Matters


"Your brain is constantly asking and answering questions inside of itself." This ongoing internal dialogue shapes how you perceive challenges and react to them. When faced with a stumbling block, your brain intuitively seeks answers. The kind of questions you ask—whether reactive or proactive—determines the outcomes you'll chase.


Question for reflection: How often do you find yourself asking why things have gone wrong versus what you can do to make them right?


The QBQ Method


Shifting from Victim to Victor


The "Question Behind the Question" (QBQ) method is more than just a tool; it’s a mindset revolution. Instead of asking victim questions that lead to blame and helplessness, the QBQ method encourages asking proactive questions that emphasize personal responsibility and solutions.

For example:


  • Instead of asking, "Why does this always happen to me?" try "What can I do to change this situation?"
  • Rather than, "Who is responsible for this mistake?" ask "How can I prevent this from happening again?"


Insightful quote: "When you're under stress, all right, so this is only when you're stressed out and frustrated, okay? Everyone got me? Say only when I'm frustrated. Only frustrated."


Identifying Victim Questions


Recognize and Redirect


Victim questions often start with "why," "who," and "when." They undermine personal accountability and foster a negative, passive attitude, contributing to a cycle of blame and helplessness. Here are some common examples:


  • "Why can't my team be more efficient?"
  • "Who messed this up?"
  • "When will someone fix this problem?"


Self-awareness prompt: "Do you realize how much you do it yourself? This is the thing we call hypocritical thinking, all right?"


Embracing "What" and "How" Questions


The Power of Action-Oriented Thinking


On the flip side, "what" and "how" questions pivot your mindset to action and solutions. They dismantle the victim mentality and foster a sense of ownership. Consider how these proactive questions can refocus your approach:


  • "What can I do to clearly communicate so I am only heard one time?"
  • "How can I support my team to improve efficiency?"


Motivational thought: "The most powerful proactive question that you can ask is what can I do."


Practical Tips for Shifting to a Proactive Mindset


Simple Steps to Start Today


  1. Self-awareness: Take a moment to reflect on your internal dialogue. Identify when you fall into victim thinking and note it down.
  2. Challenge Your Questions: Actively replace "why," "who," and "when" questions with "what" and "how."
  3. Practice Consistently: Make it a daily habit to ask at least one proactive question.
  4. Reflect and Adjust: At the end of each day, ponder which proactive questions were most effective in helping you overcome challenges.


Encouraging anecdote: Consider a situation where a team lead constantly faced project delays. By shifting their focus from "Who is causing these delays?" to "What can I do to streamline our process?" they were able to identify bottlenecks and improve the workflow significantly.


Conclusion


Mastering personal accountability through proactive questions like those emphasized in the QBQ method can transform not only your professional journey but also your personal life. By moving away from victim thinking and embracing a solution-focused mindset, you pave the way for growth, efficiency, and unparalleled success.


Final thought: Today, make a conscious effort to ask "What can I do?" and witness how this simple shift in perspective can unlock new opportunities and solutions. Start now, and transform your challenges into stepping stones for success.

Breaking the Cycle of Misery: A Leadership Journey

By Shandel Sutherland • November 24, 2024
Introduction Have you ever felt trapped in a cycle of stress, frustration, and burnout? As leaders, it's easy to get caught up in the day-to-day grind and lose sight of what truly matters. In this blog post, we'll explore the concept of the "cycle of misery" and how to break free from it. Understanding the Cycle of Misery The cycle of misery is a common trap that many leaders fall into. It's characterized by a negative mindset, a focus on problems, and a tendency to blame others. When we're in this cycle, we become our own worst enemies, constantly worrying and stressing over things that are outside of our control. Key Signs of the Cycle of Misery: Fear and Insecurity: Feeling overwhelmed and uncertain about the future. Anger and Frustration: Blaming others for problems and taking things personally. Lack of Confidence: Doubting your abilities and questioning your decisions. Isolation: Withdrawing from others and avoiding social interaction. Negativity: Focusing on the negative aspects of situations and people. Breaking Free from the Cycle To break free from the cycle of misery, we must focus on the following: Self-Awareness: Recognize the signs of the cycle and be honest with yourself about your current state. Mindfulness: Practice mindfulness techniques to stay present and reduce stress. Positive Self-Talk: Challenge negative thoughts and replace them with positive affirmations. Seek Support: Talk to a mentor, coach, or therapist to gain perspective and guidance. Prioritize Self-Care: Make time for activities that you enjoy and that help you relax. Focus on Solutions: Instead of dwelling on problems, focus on finding solutions. Connect with Others: Build strong relationships with colleagues, friends, and family. The Healthy Cycle of Growth In contrast to the cycle of misery, the healthy cycle of growth is characterized by positivity, resilience, and a focus on solutions. By cultivating a growth mindset and practicing self-care, we can break free from the cycle of misery and achieve our full potential. Conclusion Remember, it's okay to experience challenges and setbacks. The key is to recognize when we're slipping into the cycle of misery and take proactive steps to break free. By focusing on our values, practicing self-care, and connecting with others, we can create a more fulfilling and rewarding life.

Lead with Authenticity

By Jake Hinton • October 7, 2024
Embark on a transformative leadership journey where authenticity meets growth. This article delves into the pathways taken by a CEO to foster authentic leadership, emphasizing the shift from comfort zones to growth areas. Explore how resilience, accountability, and value alignment pave the way for effective leadership. By understanding oneself and embracing challenges, leaders can inspire their teams and nurture organizational success. Join us in uncovering the ripple effect of personal growth and its impact on building strong, authentic relationships.
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